Tag Archives: Thoughts

Shaking My Head


I guess I had been gone too long for people to read my last post. That’s ok, I don’t mind. Even if no one reads these at least I can get out what I’m thinking and feeling in some way.

Vice presidential debates aren’t usually something that gets a lot of attention. Normally they don’t even affect polls or anything like that substantially. Yet this one caused a stir it seems and has had¬†about as mixed feedback as you can get.

In my humble opinion Biden won. I don’t say this because of interruptions, or anything like that. I say it because I listened to what the candidates were saying. Everything that Ryan had out there Biden was able to correct and get on with the debate. However, though this is in some ways a victory for the Democrats, it’s not without its own losses.

First off, you have the entire right wing screaming at Biden’s behavior. They are unnerved by him laughing at subjects or his hand gestures. They are angry about how he kept interrupting Ryan. I’d like to point out to them that Romney did the same exact thing to Obama last week, but was seen as being a hero for it. Also, I’d like to point out that Biden wasn’t laughing about the issues- he was actually laughing at Ryan. I’m not surprised in the least and I don’t condone unprofessional behavior like that. I think he could have been a little more reserved and had a better impact on the audience for being so. We just need to keep in mind, this is Biden after all and he’s known to be like that.

Fact check: I’m concerned that the fact checking on both sides were equally riddled with lies from both candidates. I mean this sincerely. Even though I’m against the whole Republican platform I’m able to see the fact that both of them last night twisted numbers and statistics at the very least with both of them outright lying about certain issues. To me that really causes the whole thing to be more of a game than anything serious. If it was serious then real facts that would be accurate would be brought to the table. I’m big on the truth and neither of these guys really stood up for the truth in a way that I would have appreciated.

Responses: For some reason the responses I’ve seen from the public are less apathetic towards these two than they were towards the Presidential debate last week. I have no idea why other than it was infinitely more entertaining in a way to watch these guys go at it. The problem here is that this isn’t entertainment, this is supposed to be a tool to use in order to better choose the right candidates for the job at hand. We’ll see how this whole thing gets reflected in the polls probably more early next week.

Overall, I’m still sadened by the lack of clear direction for the Left, the information twisting of both sides and the mud-slinging of all involved before and after such a debate. The only thing I can really say that’s positive was that even the moderator tried to get actual details from Ryan about his plan for the country¬†and was unable to. Though that was a big thing, it’s going to be hidden most likely in the media’s reporting of the debate by Biden’s attitude.


Great… Just great…


So I try really hard not to write about personal stuffs on here. I don’t like putting my personal life out there. However, I don’t have anyone to talk to and the one person I would talk to I would rather just not add to his stress level right now. So here it goes. And my apologies ahead of time.

A little history on the issue: I’m currently in college. As a 31-year old woman I should have had this all done and over with years ago but back then I was young and quite stupid about life. I didn’t know what I would be good at, and honestly didn’t think any so-called talent of mine was worth the investment of money and time that college entails. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I met a very kind, gentle, loving young man who was completely fascinated by my artwork. Turns out he’s the man of my dreams and became my husband. Before that happy bit happened though, he threw me (practically literally) into college. The idea was to go to school for art and do something with it.

So I’ve spent my time, money and energy creating art, learning art, eating, breathing and even dreaming art. After getting my associate’s degree, and really right before completing it, I decided that an associate’s wasn’t enough. It wouldn’t get me a job or anything that would make such an investment worthwhile. This is where I started thinking about what I could do instead. I ended up going for animation, transferring to a true art school (as opposed to the community college that I started at) and have been working on that since. I’m going to be a Senior next year, working on my thesis and finishing my B.F.A. However, there has been one major thing missing- internships. To truly end up successful in this kind of a field one needs to have internships on their resume. Without it, no company will take a recent graduate artist seriously when applying for a job. Since I have no experience with 3-D animation yet, or even digital animation of a 2-D nature I had to find a place that would work with traditional, hand-drawn projects. I found one and only one. The excitement built in my heart for over a semester at the idea of having everything fall into place…

Well, instead of falling into place, it has started falling apart. The internship that I need so desperately in order to compete more effectively in a job market being strangled by budget cuts wasn’t posted until the last week of classes this semester. As a summer internship it should have been posted before summer school registration was done. In fact, everyone at the school was trying to get this guy to do exactly that so the students could schedule their classes around it. Now I had to schedule summer classes without knowing what his hours would be- I really had no other choice. Since he finally posted his job offer, it has been announced that he requires the students to work 9-5 which will be hard for any of them to do while balancing summer courses. This is especially true since his studio is about 45 minutes away from where our school is, not to mention where any of us live. The other students probably have other options available and aren’t stressing about this so much. However, I don’t have that luxury. I can’t just drop the classes I have registered for- One is a class that has never been offered there and would bee far too useful and the other is a required course that I just don’t see being able to balance along with 5 other classes and thesis at the same time. (It’s a community service learning course that requires additional time outside of class working with different charities.) I can’t bring myself to even apply to this intern position because I simply can’t meet the scheduling requirement for the job. It would be a waste of my time and of the man who posted the position if I did, thus making me seem that much more unprofessional in the process.

I know this must sound like I’m whining and all, but it concerns me a great deal. My husband is now looking to me to be the successful one since his career as a music teacher was cut short thanks to budget cuts in schools. This whole thing just makes it that much more difficult to do this.

Also please understand it’s not like I haven’t tried for other places in the area. It’s just that the other places are all 3-D based and as such have turned me down. I’m simply at a loss…

So, if anyone knows of a place that is around the Milwaukee area that does animation and would be willing to have a part time, 2-D specialist as an intern, please let me know. I’m a fair hand at video and sound editing- just in case that helps.

Thanks for listening/reading. Sorry for whining.

Political discussions


Warning: I may have a few of these… or more… And you may not like them.

Warning #2: I may not care if you don’t like them. Of course, I mean that in the most kind, loving, and uplifting way possible.

Today I was talking to one of my classmates and we were discussing politics. She didn’t really identify herself as any particular party and expressed her disdain for the concept of party based politics. I didn’t disagree with any of the above, or really most of what we discussed. It did however cause me to think about what’s going on and how we, as a country, might be able to change it.

Take the idea of party politics. What would happen if we took the parties out of it? What if you had to have representatives that spoke for themselves instead of following basic party guidelines? Would that make it better, or would it make it easier for someone to lie to the public about what they’re going after and what they’re intentions are? I’m not sure which is the correct answer to be honest. I do know that the current standpoint of how politics works isn’t really working at all.

How to get the money out of politics? That’s the next issue we talked about. There seems to be an over-abundance of people who go into politics for the money, not really to change the country in beneficial ways. This worries me. The idea of public service, which any elected office is supposed to be, is based around the concept of serving the public. You would think such a thing would be self explanatory. However, it seems that the public service part of politics has left the building completely, perhaps never to return. I don’t have an answer to how to fix this, but I do have a few ideas. My favorite of these is to pay them the same as the average teacher, or a fixed rate that is under a certain amount. They can’t vote to raise their own pay. Only the public can vote to raise a politician’s pay and it’s based on how effective they are at their job. Perhaps if there wasn’t so much money to be gained from it these people who go for this kind of work would actually go because they want to help people, not because they’re greedy. One could hope.

Another thing: What is with these candidates that want to control women’s bodies and our choices about them? Are we trying to go back to the 1940’s or something here? Didn’t we work as a whole to get rid of the idea that a woman can’t decide for herself what is right for her own body and her life? I can’t begin to describe the seething anger I get every time I hear some dim-witted politician try to take away things like contraceptives or abortion. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that some people’s beliefs say that they can’t use these things. That’s fine. Believe what you will and act upon that accordingly, but only do so for your own life. You, and I, don’t have any control over anyone else. If someone wants to get an abortion, at least make it legal so that it’s safe for her to do so. If someone needs/wants to have contraceptives, that’s fine. In fact, the more you promote the contraceptives, the less you will have to fight the idea of an abortion because the less likely it is that it will be “needed”. Also, what’s this thing of trying to teach children again only abstinence instead of the whole story? Are you kidding me? That’s not going to stop them, they’re teens. They have urges and they WILL take care of them, whether you like it or not. It would be better to tell them that abstinence is best, but also to educate them on all the options available. That way you’re less likely to get any surprises from them. It’s logic people. You can’t turn back time to the “wholesome” ages of the past. All you can do is move forward and try to make it better, make it stronger, more intelligent, and by all means make it more compassionate. I mean, seriously, the lack of compassion I’m seeing by corporations, and people in general is really getting to me sometimes. I keep reading things where some poor sap has to try to refinance his mortgage and the bank gives this poor sap the run around until they can finally “legally” foreclose on his home and kick him and his family out. Never mind the fact that they paid faithfully and on time for like 10 years or so. Never mind the fact that he tried to go through your own red tape to get the process that he QUALIFIED for in order to lower the payments into something he could afford at the time. Never mind the fact that maybe now he has a job that pays enough that he could even pay the full payments that was due anyway and catch up. No, you greedy ass banks have to take his him, his life, his security and investment from him. There’s no heart, no feeling, nothing but trying to do “business”. If this is business, count me out.

Ok, so that was a bit of a run-on paragraph, but yeah. There are rants. They occur. And trust me when I say there are more. It just so happens that I have to go to class and can’t write more at the moment. So… Until next time folks that read my stuff, have a great day and please remember to be kind to someone today. I guarantee you that there is someone out there that needs it that’s not so far from you as you might think they are.



~Awakened Aquarius~

What the hell?


I don’t understand emotions.

I don’t understand humans really.

And I don’t understand greed.

Why is it I feel so bloody helpless in a world that needs help? What is there that I can do that might actually accomplish something worth while?

And why the hell am I so bloody lonely all the time?

Where did all my friends go? Am I so horrible a person that no one wants to talk to me? Do I pay attention to real issues enough that people don’t want to listen anymore? What the hell?

I try to learn from what I read. I try to figure out what’s going on. I try to share this and see what other people think about the same issues. However, I have found that mostly people don’t want to listen, don’t want to discuss what’s going on, don’t want to learn, don’t want to change the world, the country, the city they live in. They might want to complain, but no actions are done, nothing, to change what’s wrong. They might want to have companionship, but not mine. Never mine. They think me awkward. Yes, I am. I’m sorry. I’ve always been awkward. I can’t help it. It’s what and part of who I am. And yes, I have tried to change it. By trying I simply became even more awkward. So I just relax and figure if someone thinks me worthy they’ll come, they’ll talk, and they’ll listen. So far, not many are willing to do that. Most laugh and then walk away quickly like I’m some lunatic. I’m not. I’m just aware, that’s all. I see what the people in power are doing, I see how the system is failing all of us and I’m angry. I’m very, very angry. They should be too though. They’re not. I don’t understand why. Why shouldn’t we be angry that the people in power are staying in power not because we want them there, but because they lie, cheat and steal to stay there? Why shouldn’t we be angry that these same people who took solemn oaths to uphold the law do things like tax evasion and then don’t even get a slap on the wrist? Why shouldn’t we be angry that the USA is the only country where a CEO makes more than 25 times the average amount of the employees in their company? Why shouldn’t we be angry that the people in charge of our liberties are trying to take them away, trying to keep us and future generations from getting a good education, good healthcare, work benefits like retirement money, vacation, equal opportunities for advancement? We should be pissed off like no other! Yet somehow, someway they’ve managed to keep a large part of the population complacent. They give us empty promises by using false or misleading statistics saying that the economy is getting better, that there are jobs, that getting a good education means you can get one of these jobs and have enough income to raise a family and pay off any student loans. They lie. Even if I do get the career I want out of college I know I won’t be able to do both. I know this. I also know that I’m going into an age where I don’t want to give birth for fear of damaging my body. I can’t wait too long you know, there does come a point when it’s dangerous. I also know that I’m not the only one in my position either. Where is the revolution that should be? Occupy? Bah… I know they’re trying, but they’re failing too. Even when I research what’s going on with them through alternate means other than your basic news I don’t find much. Also, where are they here? It’s a tiny camp, in a tiny park in a tiny ghetto-like neighborhood that doesn’t do anything meaningful. It does mean something to occupy a space, but only if you occupy the RIGHT space. They’re not in the right space, they’re in the easy space. What is right isn’t always easy and what is easy isn’t always right.

You’re probably asking then why don’t I go out and do the protests myself? I know… that’s part of what makes me angry too. I’m angry at myself for not being courageous enough to risk it all for my fellow-man. Instead I’m looking to home with my husband, wondering what effect my actions would have on him. What if I get arrested? How will we afford bail? I can’t rely on anyone else to pay my bail after all. The main organization that runs Occupy doesn’t support us here for some reason. They should, but they don’t, which means that they won’t pay if any of us get arrested. So we have to be especially careful. The people at the almost-insignificant camp here don’t have the money so I can’t rely on them either. I have to rely on myself, and I don’t have the money personally and I know it. What would happen if I got injured too? Yes, I have health insurance through my college, but would it cover that? I don’t know. And I know there is a copay, which I also can’t afford. So I have to be careful there as well. I know, that makes me a hypocrite for not going out and being active in whatever. I’m sorry. I really am. I want to be, and god willing I will be when I can. Maybe this is how we’re all chained… we have been taught to think about those around us first before we can think about all those in the country as a whole. It’s no longer about our society anymore but about our individual families. But don’t those families suffer by our inaction too? Where does this all fit in? How can we start a real revolution, something that can’t be ignored, something that even the media who wants us to be silent and non-existant can’t get rid of? It needs to be bigger than OWS, bigger than the Anonymous attacks on the sites when SOPA and PIPA were a threat (not that it’s gone away completely, but at least it’s not going to be passed tomorrow). It needs to be universal in its message, strong in its organization and brotherhood, and it needs to be now. We, myself included in this, need to get off our collective asses and get going with this before it’s too late. We need to do this before it becomes completely illegal to even protest peacefully here and people get killed for speaking up. We should never allow it to get this far and if by writing this they come for me, then so be it. I have to start somewhere. (Though honestly I doubt they’ll come, I’m not significant enough to be a threat really.)

Just remember…

When they came for the Jews I did not stand up for I am not a Jew…

When they came for the Catholics I did not stand up for I am not a Catholic….

When they came for me, there was no one left.